Lasers

Here is one of those news articles that sounds far more like science fiction than reality. It's like that show "Beyond 2000". It's a report not about whiny and lame humans as they exist now, but it's more like a report from THE FUTURE. I love the tone in the best of these stories. They sound a lot like those Popular Science pieces. "See everybody, this is how awesome we will all soon be!! It's that awesome!!!"

The video wasn't working earlier, but you can get the link to a working one here. The video is only so so, but I haven't watched it with sound. So maybe if it's Darth Vader narrating it, it will be more awesome.

Isreal has made a big laser that literally blows missiles out of the sky.

Can I hear an amen?

That's right. Totally awesome. But they haven't implemented it in the nations defense scheme yet. So, a bunch of recently bombed Israelis have sued the government for not protecting them enough.

I think these guys are on to something. No, not the scientists and black wizards that have collaborated with the ancient gods to make the deathray, but with the awesome people with the audacity to sue the government for not installing a deathray in their backyard. Let me say that again:

They are suing the government for not putting a deathray in their neighborhood.

WHY CAN'T WE DO THAT???

Seriously, I want to sue the government for depriving my hometown of AWESOMENESS. We are all not awesome enough, and you, the government, are keeping all the awesomeness to yourself. Please install a DEATHRAY in our backyard.

This isn't about defense. This is about the necessary evolution of the species. Without some serious redistribution and research into making more awesomeness for all, we are all in big trouble. Do we all want to end up looking like giant whales that roll from place to place and absorb nutrients through our skin because we can't reach our mouths anymore?

I vote for floating around in the lotus position with a giant cranium and cooking my food with laser vision. HELL YES! The only way this is going to happen is if our government gets ON THE BALL. I'm talking teleporters, moon stations, and FRICKING DEATHRAYS. And I'm talking NOW.

This is an important election year. That is, everybody sucks and I for one can't tell the difference between any of the front runners. We need to find out where these candidates stand on awesomeness.

So, pretty much the only way we're going to win is if Chuck Norris round house kicks (p)Huckabee and runs himself, with the resurrected ghost of Nicola Tesla as his running mate. He was born in Croatia, but I think we can get around that if we make sure he is resurrected in the United States.

Get on this people!!

Update (3/14/08):

We ARE making lasers!! Weeeeeee!!

But this is still not good enough. $540 million dollars is a pitance. We spent $294 billion on WELFARE. The entire science budget for the US government was only $25 billion.

As a wise man once said, give a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach him to cook it with laser vision, and he will be awesome for a lifetime. We would do well to remember this.

Happy Birthday

This didn't exactly work out as planned. Although, maybe not in the most obvious ways. I decided not to wish the Commander a happy birthday on his birthday because, well, he hates having people know. But still, I'm feeling kind of guilty about this now.

I have been monkeying around in Flash because I want to make a game. I have high aspirations and I'd like to talk about those too, but it's late and it's not my point.

As a first stab, I really wanted to do something with the Commander and the crew, being that it is his birthday and all. My original ideas were far more ambitious than what you are about to see. I wanted to make an RPG where you run through a simple gauntlet of critters and fight Cthulhu Elvis at the end.

I started learning Flash to do this (mind you that I have plenty of Java experience though) and quickly realized I'd bitten off more than I could chew for the time I'd given myself. So, I found a tutorial and spun off a side shooter from that. I wanted to have Cthulhu Elvis at the end of this one too. But that would have been hard. Actually, I wanted the cop car to shoot at you too. That may come yet if I continue monkeying around with this.

But I didn't want to wait any longer. So, for your gaming pleasure (not sure if I'd use that word for something so tedious as this game) I present the first ever BrandX themed video game ever.

Yes, it sucks. I will strive to make the next one more interesting. Use the arrow keys. Dodge the planet/asteroids. Shoot them by pressing space. Pretend the cop car can catch and/or shoot at you for more excitement.



Oh, and happy birthday my friend. I'll work on getting Cthulhu Elvis in the next one.

Xbox360

Alright everybody, I need you to do something for me. I need you all to buy an Xbox360 and play it.

THE FATE OF THE GALAXY IS AT STAKE.

I know this factism because THE BARON told me:



I want an Xbox so bad. But I'm afraid. This red ring of death nonsense is freaky. They say the failure rate is as much as 30 percent. This makes this beast a seriously scary investment.

It's not like I can afford one anyways. But as I consider the direction the games industry seems to be heading, it is still the most economical way to play games for me right now. Most of the killer PC games I want to play are being simultaneously released on the 360. $390 dollars seems steep, until you realize the cost of a decent gaming PC is about five times higher.

It's weird thinking that 400 bucks is cost effective, but with PC sales in decline, more and more games are being simultaneously released. Plus, digital TV is becoming more and more common. The experience is just as good if not better on the consoles. That is, if you don't have a 30% failure rate.

It kills me. I think I would still rather have the PC, but it's a leach. I just can't afford it. Then you have to keep it maintained. It would be so much simpler to just get a basic machine, slap Linux on it, and take care of your gaming elsewhere.

I predict that eventually the choice will be taken out of our hands. I remember when everything I wanted to play was on the PC, and the consoles were sub-par ports at best. Now, PC still has 99% of the games I want to play, but 90% of those are also on the 360. Eventually, I think those numbers are going to flip around, and digital TV's are going to be so economical it won't make sense to have a gaming PC anymore.

What do you think? Is PC gaming on it's way out?

Update (3/13/08):

Apparently, the next Unreal will be console only. For those of you don't really play games, this is a huge deal. Unreal is one of those perennial A list ground breaking graphic heavy titles. It has always been PC first/only because that is the only place where the creators can get enough power to make the game as cutting edge as they want. This is the first time I've ever seen one of these titles being released as a console exclusive. They may port it later, but the PC is a secondary market. Truly amazing. I think the PC is on the way out unless this gaming alliance thing works out.

The experiment

I got a comment about some of my earlier teaching posts, so I figured I'd write an update on how things have been going.

I've learned a lot this year. Some stuff has worked great, and other stuff has not worked out so great. But that isn't saying much. Some classes are more difficult than others. A lot of this is language related though. The more difficult to teach classes have fewer English speakers, but I'd also describe those same classes as "guarded tweens." So blaming language exclusively is just martyring myself for something every other eighth grade teacher in the universe lives with every day. Some students can't understand, but they also don't want to interact either. I have the same problem with a few kids in my English-speakers-only math class.

Speaking of the math class, things have worked out well. It was quite a fight for the first half of that first semester. I really worked hard for those kids. In the end, I realized the main problem really wasn't me or them, it was the material. As soon as we got past all the proofs, things normalized a lot. But the proofs were most of the semester, so it was still really hard.

Most of my fixes were just providing a lot more support. I added bonus questions, changed the homework policy to give them more time to get help outside of class. I tightened up the schedule in each class and added more quizzes. Bell work was a great help. Starting the class with questions from the previous day really helped them retain information from lesson to lesson. One of the best things I did was provide answer guides after the homework came back. Letting the kids see more proofs done right was exactly what a few of them needed.

The changes to homework have also made me think a lot about my grading policy in general. I'm tempted to make the homework worth far less, and maybe even stop grading them entirely in favor of just giving them the answer keys after they are due. Most of the kids that really care about their work just need to see what they did wrong, and they will ace the test. But what bugs me are the ones that answer the easy problems, and skip the hard ones that aren't in the back of the book. They get most of the grade without any of the benefit. So, why fight it. Make the homework practice and use tests to evaluate them. That fits the Japanese system a lot more anyways. High school is a lot like college this way. Most High School classes are on a midterm/final two-test basis anyways. I haven't made up my mind yet. I need to research alternatives a little more. If anybody has an opinion/experience/research on this, please comment!!

The math classes are a lot different than my other classes. Computer classes have been a lot less about "not getting it" and more about "proficiency" in most cases. Are you effective? Are you efficient? Are you considering usability? Is that the best way to do that? These are the sorts of things I'm constantly trying to improve. It's very difficult to test though. I don't evaluate them at all. I just give them lots of practical examples and make the rounds, correcting things as I see them.

The biggest problem with this is that it assumes too much. I didn't know the proficiency of the kids as I started the first term. I thought certain fundamentals were in place. I checked the projects for the previous year and thought to myself "oh, they understand word, and a little excel". But what I realized is that I really don't know anything. Can they merge data or just write reports? Can they write formulas or do they just think excel is for making lists only?

My best class has been the tenth grade class. I thought for a long time this was because they are older "more mature" students, better in English, and are dominated by a very outgoing freshman class. (Yes, it's CALLED Computer 10, but it's not just for tenth graders. We've fixed this for the next year. Now it is called CMP201 - Advanced Computer Applications.) But this was wrong and I just realized this recently.

The advice given me when I took over was to not talk so much (because of the Japanese) and give lots of "practical projects." I can assign it, and just walk around helping. So, I did this. The kids quickly got bored, and answering questions doesn't show anyone how to use something, if they don't know the tool exists in the first place. The computer 10 class was different because it was one topic for the entire quarter. We were learning Photoshop and it needed to be slow, because it was so complicated. I didn't talk much, but I demonstrated a new feature every class, and had something appropriate to work on that would use it. The kids did great, and when I gave them a hard project at the end of the term, they rocked.

But it is so arrogant of me to assume that something "easy" like MS Word isn't just as scary to a sixth grader, as Photoshop is to a freshman. I didn't know what they knew already, so I assumed they knew a lot, or at least the fundamentals. If I didn't think they knew anything, I did spend a few minutes showing them. But I still assumed they had a level of proficiency high enough to handle a "gloss over" of many things at once. I should have taken much longer on the fundamentals. I was worried so much about boring students, that most of them simply were not prepared for the assignments I gave them. I am definitely not cut out to teach sixth graders.

This past year I gave out a few, larger projects designed to teach lots of skills by using them practically. But next year I'm changing this. I've already gotten the big whigs to change the class schedules from a one-to-three lessons a week, depending on the class, plan to a twice-a-week, no matter what, plan. I'm slowing down. I'm going to avoid large projects until the end. I want to teach small discrete lessons on particular skills or tools. I want them to be able to complete these lessons in a day or two, rather than over several weeks. Then, at the end, after they have been taught what they need to know explicitly, I'll give them a project. Smaller lessons can still be practical, but they should not be so epic.

This also makes the project a real evaluation. I know what they are capable of, and I can use time against them to make sure they really understood the material. The projects will take less time, because I know what they should be capable of doing in a single lesson, and I can give them just enough time to finish it. If they know what I taught them, they will succeed in that time, and if they don't, they will not succeed. I can correct them, and they will have a second opportunity to learn. At the same time, this serves as their "final" test.

This seems like a no brainer to me now. Two months ago, I might have even told you that this was what I was doing already, but it wasn't. The key difference is that the project is really only a test if it rehashes what they have already learned. Teaching via big projects doesn't gradually ramp them up enough. It's like a big scatter plot of skills that sometimes overlaps from lesson to lesson and sometimes doesn't. What did they learn last time? It depends on too many choices that are not in my hands, but made instead by student deciding for him or herself how to best achieve the objectives I've given them. So, you can never tell what they have really learned. You can't even be sure of what you expect them to learn, because you haven't decided beforehand what you want them to get out of it. You're just reacting to what they are doing. Too sloppy, and I'm not going to make that mistake again.

I've been very busy rebuilding the entire curriculum from scratch. The biggest thing I've been developing is a true "progression" of skills. I think the current curriculum sees computers as a big grab bag. It's more like a hash table than a linked list. There are no prerequisites. There is just a vague idea that each year gets "harder" somehow. This is evident in how certain software has been scheduled. Photoshop is "hard", so we teach it to the later grades. But analyzing data in a spreadsheet is also harder than making a "my life" presentation.

This was definitely understood by the last teacher, but it wasn't outlined. She had a good sense of where her kids were, and tailored each class accordingly. She had a big sack full of projects, and she used them effectively to teach something new each week. She planned ahead, but I couldn't see the order in it. It all seemed so random. If there was an order, it wasn't written anywhere.

Now there is a master list of computer skills, general objectives, and a progression chart. I can look at it and see clearly what a certain grade should be learning that year. It is broken down categorically by skills, social issues, theory, and topic. I can see what they did the year before, and I know what I am preparing them for next year. It is already making my planning for next year so much easier. There is no more need for me to "come up with something else to teach them this week" because I know exactly what I want to teach them already. In fact, I have more than enough. It's all there and I just have to figure out how I want to teach them, how to test it, and how to make it interesting. It's still a work in progress.

I'll keep you updated. Thank you for your comments!

Vanilla Mood

It's been too long since I've heard a combo this clean, and I don't think I've heard anything like this in Japan. I've always been impressed with the jazz over here, even if the pop/rock sucks most of the time. (Especially from the guys.) All the testosterone angst is coming from the girls. The girls rock my face over here. And just to prove they are also better musicians, I give you this amazing example of chamber music turned funky awesome.


Vanilla Mood -- Summertime

Birthday

I'd like to first continue with the theme of my last post by exploiting linguistic differences. This time in Japanese.

A few months ago I started noticing my kids saying "K-Y" to each other. This is usually followed by lots of giggling. Now, if I were in America, I would know EXACTLY why they were giggling, but I have a hard time believing it's the same thing here. (For those of you who didn't have f-ed up bosses (hugs John) that talked about it constantly, it's lube... yeah... that kind of lube.)

Turns out it stands for 空気読めない (kuuki yomenai) which literally means "You cannot read the sky (or air space)." A rough equivalents would be "Get a clue." You say it when someone just doesn't get it. Either they jumped into the conversation late, missed the point, or just can't read the writing on the wall, you say "K-Y!!" and everybody giggles.

Everybody wait for Joy to comment on how I totally got it wrong... wait for it...

For those of you that don't know, today is my birthday, and I wanted to tell you I had a great weekend!

Ben came over Friday. We played HeroQuest and he stayed over the night. He rolled his first D20 and ROLLED A 20! It was hot, especially because he said, "I roll twenties" just before rolling it. It was sexy. Joy came over Saturday and we all drank "blue potions" as we watched the first two Harry Potter movies. MOST EXCELLENT! I am quickly turning into a big fan of this stuff. I should get the fourth book soon. We all went online and took the official sorting hat test. Joy, Ben and I are all Ravenclaws. Officially. I expect my letter by owl any day now... any time...

Tammy sent me a present. The funny thing is that I also got her Christmas present yesterday too. It was sent to my old apartment and it has taken all this time to find it's way here. Two presents from two seperate holidays on the SAME DAY! WOOT!

It was mostly awesome things like PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!! And not just the sissy kind. We're talking the mega awesome seasonal kind. I have a Christmas tree, and the easter egg kind. Also, pop rocks, peeps, snickers, pez, and ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SEASON 3!!

Tammy rocks. Everybody try not to throw food at her today, unless she is REALLY asking for it. Maybe even... give her a hug or something...

I also got a few things from Ben. The chocolate is rather good chocolate. I will enjoy it... maybe, if Joy lets me have some. The other thing is shaped like poop. Some kind of poop candy in there. There is a theme here I find most disturbing.

He also got me this awesome journal. It is like myspace the BOOK. As in, it is an actual book. It is for BEST FRIENDS ONLY! That means sort of friends will not be in this book. So don't ask. Only BEST friends.

I think that cowgirl is the book's equivalent of Tom. Anyways, each page is a "profile" page. You fill in important facts like favorite color and what boys they like. You know, critical networking information. Totally awesome.

That girl looks just like Jenny.

Are you slut?

Turns out that the word for "finish," as in, "I can finish the race," is "slut" in Dutch.

That's so awesome.

"SLUT," said the announcer.

"Can you please use that word in a sentence?"

"After finishing her meal, the good little boy politely asked his mother if she was slut. 'Yes, thank you' the mother responded to her polite son."

Don't be like mister bungle kids. Slut your vegetables. Slut them good.

P.S. My HARVARD former roommate who speaks Swedish says it is the same in Swedish and it is pronounced SLOOT. But I'm going to forget that he said that.